


Wolverine Café

by littledust



Category: X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-06
Updated: 2014-12-06
Packaged: 2018-02-28 09:37:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2727506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littledust/pseuds/littledust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Opening a cat café was one of Professor X's more harebrained schemes to make the public more accepting of mutants, especially when he added the reality show component to document "the most extraordinary service learning project mutant youth has ever undertaken." (Logan runs a cat café.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wolverine Café

**Author's Note:**

  * For [heyjupiter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyjupiter/gifts).



> Thank you, dear recipient, for including such a fun prompt on your list! I enjoyed writing this from start to finish.

"Logan, people who come here will be expecting to pet actual wolverines," Jean says, proving she is one of the few people (human, mutant, or semi-intelligent animal) who doesn't love reality television.

Logan grunts around his cigar, which he's been told makes him look more rugged and manly than usual. The crankier he acts, the more the middle-aged woman demographic loves him, which Logan takes as a license to treat all stupid statements with open contempt. "Everyone coming to Wolverine Café has seen the show. Believe me, they'll be expecting what they'll get."

The gray cat on the counter blinks slowly, then yawns, displaying every single one of his teeth. Kitty, standing by the cash register, eyes him nervously despite her name. (Turns out it takes some seriously inflated wages to make someone named Kitty work in a cat café, and when one of the cats is pure evil like Duarte, it might take the entire contents of the tip jar to get her to stay. And then some. Logan might have to learn a few things about designer shoes or designer pens or whatever it was that Kitty wants in exchange.)

Opening a cat café was one of Professor X's more harebrained schemes to make the public more accepting of mutants, especially when he added the reality show component to document "the most extraordinary service learning project mutant youth has ever undertaken."

Logan, who volunteered for the job _before_ he knew he'd be the chief supervisor of teenagers with hammers and very little sense, business or otherwise, figured out real quick that "service learning" meant "you get to run a small business while being filmed, and also you still have to teach all of your classes." But hey, at least the stupid show is over, and Emma says the network is making so much money that they want him to do _another_ stupid show. 

Logan turned down Emma's admittedly generous offer, generous less for the airtime and publicity than for the ridiculous paycheck. His heart is at the newly opened Wolverine Café. A vet who watched the show just sent them a literal box of rescue kittens, and it would take a stronger man than he to resist their tiny mews.

Jean's sigh turns into a smile when a gray tabby winds itself around her legs. She leans down to give it a scratch behind the ears. "I guess if hordes of wolverine lovers didn't show up for the grand opening, you're pretty much in the clear. I'll get out of your hair."

"Tell Scott's allergies I say hello," Logan says, walking her to the door. He flips the sign from CLOSED to OPEN after her.

Bobby, Rogue, and a couple of moms and kids are the only people waiting in line for the doors to open at 9 AM sharp. Half of Wolverine Café's business comes from the school, but that's actually kinda nice for the kids. Therapy animals and crap like that. Logan's not big on talk therapy, but sit him down in an empty room with a cat and a nice bottle of scotch and suddenly he's all right with the world.

"Ow! Mother--of Mary," Logan says, reminded of the kids dangling toy mice over the kittens when one of them squeals in delight. He rubs at his arm and glares.

Always excepting Duarte. That cat will put him _into_ therapy, and possibly Wolverine Café out of business.

Things tick along pretty nicely, even if Logan's pretty sure that this cat café undermines his gruff, manly exterior more and more every day. Rogue has to give him doe eyes for only about five minutes before he finally caves and says yes, she can work here. (She was on the original roster, then accidentally touched a kitten bare-handed. The kitten was fine, but Rogue acquired its powers of clumsy cuteness and spent a few days tripping over her own feet, chasing strings, and getting her hair petted.)

Logan still tells Bobby no, get a job somewhere else. There will be no teenage sex riots at Wolverine Café.

The sweet old lady regulars come in right on time to get a little lunch for themselves and feed the cats. They giggle whenever Logan walks by their table, sounding disconcertingly like teenage girls. Shouldn't sweet old ladies be past that by now? At least they baked Logan some more cat treats.

Of course, because Logan is having a pretty good day, that's when the camera crew shows up.

"Don't be mad," Emma says, breezing in like she owns the place. (Technically, she only owns a third of it, or maybe it's a quarter.) She tuts when she sees his claws, which extended themselves after absolute irritation flooded his system. "You didn't even invite us to the grand opening!" 

"Because I knew you'd want to film it," Logan grits out. Duarte has his claws out, too, but probably not in solidarity. The damn cat _likes_ Emma, or at least tolerates her better than anyone else. "I'm tired of demographics and product placement and wearing pants every day. A man should be able to run his own cat café without an international audience breathing down his neck. Now I get fan mail from Hong Kong!"

Emma lifts an eyebrow. "How dreadful." She shifts just one hand to diamond form and pets Duarte, who promptly tries to bite her. "Yes, who's mommy's terror?" she coos, then shakes her head, all business again. "Relax. I promise we're just getting footage for a ninety-minute TV special. It's scheduled to air on Christmas. People like to watch happy things then, your charity donations will go through the roof, I make my bosses happy enough that they'll accept my pitch for an all-mutant season of Project Runway, everyone wins."

Logan sheathes his claws. Professor X will kill him if he turns down the opportunity for more good press, especially if these guys aren't staying long. And fans of the show keep sending him cats, and it kind of kills Logan that he doesn't have enough room for all of them. He blinks. "Wait, I thought Tim Gunn was a mutant."

"Well, of course! No _human_ could be that reassuring." Emma beckons in the camera crew. "While we're setting up the lights, I want you to call your most photogenic cats and customers. Let's make this adorable, people!"

Muttering about the difference between _a business_ and show business, Logan stomps off to do just that. He might as well get a tattoo that says "for the sake of the kittens." Might not be a bad idea for a bumper sticker, actually.


End file.
